The ability to challenge limiting beliefs is a key skill for the Ikigai Coach. Beliefs are deep convictions we have about ourselves, others, and the world. They form over our experiences, our education, and our culture. While some beliefs are resources and push us to surpass ourselves, others can be limiting and hinder us from accomplishing our Ikigai. The challenge for the coach is to help the client become aware of these limiting beliefs, question them, and replace them with more constructive and aligned beliefs with their deep aspirations.
Identification of limiting beliefs first involves careful listening to the client’s discourse (submodule 6.1). The Ikigai Coach spots generalizations, absolute judgments, and expressions of resignation that could betray a limiting belief. For instance, a client who keeps repeating “I’m not competent enough for this position” or “It’s impossible to live off one’s passion” expresses beliefs that restrict his/her action possibilities. The coach can also be attentive to inconsistencies between the client’s words and actions, which could reveal underlying beliefs.
Questioning is a powerful tool to help the client articulate and explore his/her limiting beliefs (submodule 6.2). The Ikigai Coach utilizes open, curious questions to get the client to verbalize his/her belief: “What makes you think that you’re not competent enough?”, “Can you give me an example of a situation where this belief held you back?”. He/she also invites the client to examine the origin and impacts of his/her belief: “How did this belief appear in your life?”, “To what extent does this belief serve or hinder you today?”. By helping the client become aware of the roots and effects of his/her belief, the coach creates the conditions to question it.
Compassionate confrontation is a technique to directly challenge a limiting belief while preserving the coaching alliance. The Ikigai Coach expresses their disagreement with the belief while recognizing its legitimacy for the client: “I understand that you think you’re not competent enough due to your past experiences. At the same time, I observe that you have developed many skills in recent years which could be an asset for this position. What do you think?”. This respectful and reasoned confrontation invites the client to consider an alternative perspective without feeling judged or invalidated.
Reframing is another valuable tool to challenge limiting beliefs (submodule 8.3). It involves proposing a different interpretation of a situation, to bring out new possibilities. When dealing with a client who thinks “One must be young to start entrepreneurship”, the Ikigai Coach could reframe: “What if your maturity and your experience were actually assets for the success of your enterprise project?”. By expanding the frame of reference, reframe helps the client soften his/her belief and begin seeing new options.
Experimentation is a crucial step to anchor the change in belief. The Ikigai Coach encourages the client to concretely test a new belief in his/her daily life. For example, a client who thinks “I don’t deserve to succeed” can experiment the alternative belief “I allow myself to experience success” by embarking on a project he/she is passionate about. By experiencing the benefits of this new belief, the client strengthens their self-confidence and their motivation to pursue his/her ikigai. The coach can support this experimentation through role-playing (submodule 8.5) or visualization exercises (submodule 7.3) to help the client fully appropriate their new belief.
Anecdote: During a coaching session, Marc, a 50-year-old client, expressed his limiting belief “At my age, it’s too late to change careers”. The Ikigai Coach first empathetically accepted the fear and resignation behind this belief. Then he invited Marc to explore examples of people who had successfully transitioned to a new career after 50. He also proposed a reframe: “What if your age was actually an advantage, given the wisdom and perspective it gives you?”. Gradually, Marc softened his belief and dared to project himself into a new career in alignment with his values. He experimented this alternative belief by conducting informational interviews with inspiring professionals. Empowered by these positive experiences, he ultimately decided to embark on a conversion training with confidence and enthusiasm.
To develop his ability to challenge limiting beliefs, the Ikigai Coach can nurture his own clarity about his own beliefs. Regular personal work, through introspection, therapy or supervision, allows him to identify and transcend his own limitations. He can also train himself in formulating various and creative reframes, drawing inspiration from different models (NLP, systemic approach, lateral thinking…). Reading books about beliefs and change, such as “Changing belief systems with NLP” by Robert Dilts, or “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall Rosenberg, can enrich his understanding and practice.
By cultivating his ability to challenge limiting beliefs, the Ikigai Coach equips himself with a powerful lever for transformation and liberation for his clients. He helps them shed conditioning and fears that hold them back, to dare to fully express their potential and authenticity. This skill, at the intersection of psychology, communication, and creativity, is a strong marker of the added value of the Ikigai Coaching. It enables the coach to catalyse realizations and deep changes, for a life that’s freer, bolder, and more fulfilled.
Key Points:
– Limiting beliefs are deep convictions that can hinder the realization of the Ikigai. The Ikigai Coach helps the client become aware of these, question them and replace them with constructive beliefs.
– Identifying limiting beliefs involves careful listening to the client’s discourse (generalizations, absolute judgments, expressions of resignation, inconsistencies).
– Open and curious questioning helps articulate the limiting beliefs and explore their origin and impacts.
– Compassionate confrontation expresses disagreement with the limiting belief, whilst recognizing its legitimacy, to invite the consideration of an alternative perspective.
– Reframing proposes a different interpretation of a situation to expand the frame of reference and reveal new possibilities.
– Concrete experimentation of a new belief in daily life anchors the change. Role-playing and visualization can support this.
– To develop this skill, the Ikigai Coach cultivates clarity on his own beliefs, practices reframing, and deepens his understanding through reading.
– Challenging limiting beliefs is a powerful lever for transformation and liberation, at the intersection of psychology, communication, and creativity.
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